Category Archives: Stress

Why Do People Bully?

Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year.

Pete karate position

Children are threatened, teased, taunted, and tormented by schoolyard bullies every day in the nation’s schools.

In a study of junior high and high school students from small Midwestern towns, 88 percent of students reported having observed bullying, and 76.8 percent indicated that they had been a victim of bullying at school.

Bullying can interfere with learning and often leads to greater and prolonged violence. Research and experience suggest that comprehensive action involving teachers and other school staff, students, parents, and community members are likely to be more efficient than purely classroom-based approaches.

If you are being picked on by a bully you need to talk to someone whether it’s a friend, family member or a teacher. If you don’t speak to someone about it, all those feelings and emotions that are locked up inside your head is not good for your health and can lead to stress.

A bully is someone who is trying to get inside your head, so if you show them that you are getting angry, they will keep aggravating you because they know what buttons to press.

Always tell someone, preferably a teacher about what is going on.

The challenges with dealing with a bully

There is no easy fix, unfortunately. All the bullying prevention programs are helping those victims of a bully, so what about the children who are the bully? The challengers are:-

  • Children have no frame of reference when traumatic experiences occur, so they come to see their reality as normal, especially if their caregivers are the source of their distress. Often, it is only much later—when exposed to healthier families or when raising children of their own—that they see how damaging their childhood was. Unfortunately, the longer a person waits to get help, the tougher it becomes to heal.

8 Reasons It’s So Hard to Overcome a Tough Childhood. – Read Post by Psychology Today.

Your Self-Belief

Children buy into all the things they’ve told about themselves. If those characteristics are negative—that they are worthless, lazy, stupid, ugly, a failure, or will never measure up to a sibling—it can leave them feeling both unworthy of a better life and powerless to change, so they numb themselves to feelings.

This not only damages their ability to build healthy relationships, but it also complicates later attempts to access the emotions needed for healing.

If you are good at something and have a natural talent for it whether that’s playing a musical instrument, or you have a wonderful singing voice, or you’re a dancer or do something that’s a little bit different, something such as tennis, then a bully will tease you for it.

The sad thing is that a child will often stop doing what they are naturally talented at, just to get the bullying to stop harassing them.

It’s sad to think that just because a bully states it’s not cool to play an instrument, sing or do gymnastics, a child will stop doing what makes them feel happy and gives them comfort.

If you love what you do, don’t stop just because a bully says it’s not cool. In most cases the bully is jealous of the child’s talent, so get out there and do what you love to do.

No matter what you do in life, you will always have someone taking you down. Unfortunately, that’s called life.

Often a person attempts to find in others what was missing from their life in an effort to fix the past. Or they may become an approval seeker who will go to any length to keep the peace or earn the love of others. Rather than valuing their own needs, they spend their energy trying to become worthy of others’ affection, often enduring further abuse in the process.

Once you get over the barrier of being comfortable doing something you gain confidence and you don’t care what anyone says.

Enjoy what you are doing because it’s clear that the bully is certainly not happy in their life and with what they are doing. So if you are being harassed by a bully Speak Up!

Don’t let anyone put you down for doing something that you love and you have a natural gift at doing.

If you’ve experienced childhood trauma and wonder where you fall on the spectrum, a test (External Links) provided as part of the Adverse Childhood Experiences. A study can provide insight as well as gauge your risk of developing related health problems.

How to Stop Bullying

Warning signs

Possible warning signs that your child is being bullied:

  • Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings
  • Have unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
  • Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she spends time
  • Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs)
  • Takes a long, “illogical” route when walking to or from school
  • Has lost interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school
  • Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home
  • Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments;
  • Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
  • Experiences a loss of appetite, or appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

Resource: Preventing Bullying: A Manual for Schools and Communities.

School Stress Due to Bullying

A host of statistics suggests that American children are indeed experiencing stress at new levels. Suicides among adolescents have quadrupled since the 1950s, and in the past decade, using medications to treat emotional disorders have shot up 68 percent for girls, and 30 percent for boys. No matter what your age, stress is not good

Pete’s Monster ~ My New Friend

Pete’s Monster My New Friend, is a continuation from the first book called Pete’s Monster.

In the first book, the story ends with Pete escorts the Blue Monster to live in his older brother George’s bedroom. Even though the Blue Monster had not caused Pete any harm or concern for him to be afraid of the Blue Monster. Pete wanted the Monster out from under his bed and George’s room seemed the obvious place for the Monster to stay.

It wasn’t till in the second book, Pete’s Monster ~ My New Friend, that we watch a friendship grow.

PETE's MONSTER_My New Friend COVER resizedThe Blue Monster knocks at Pete’s bedroom door one night and asks to return to sleeping under Pete’s bed. Pete is happy that the Monster wants to come back as he missed his companion, the Blue Monster. His new friend.

Pete leaves his bedroom after lights out against his Mother’s orders. He goes into the kitchen to get his new Monster friend something to eat, after the Monster tells Pete that he is hungry.

Pete’s Monster ~ My New Friend is also a rhyming storybook. It subtly and creatively covers the topic of friendship and was created to inform children at an early age that a friend can be of any size, shape or color.

The moral in the first Pete’s Monster book is that you should never lash out and hurt anyone, (bullying) because the true person who gets hurt the most could end up being you as you could be labeled as a bully at school and no one will want to be your friend.

 

Please enjoy reading Pete’s Monster and if you have any questions, please contact us.

Pete's Monster kindle edition

Pete's Monster available on Amazon

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